Love or Money

I can hear the gasps among my new friends when we disclosed that we are nomadic, and especially that we depend on the kindness of strangers (panhandling) in between gigs to get by.

I just don’t fit into the standard box. (I’m too big.)

I am an exceptional magician, and yet, most everyone seems content with status quo (non-magic/clever illusion).

So, I get to experience the anguish of survival, in a world that measures success by money. Love is nowhere to be found on that scale. (Love is not control.)

I also get to experience things like another family of seven that stopped at the rest stop we were in, and I walked over to strike up a casual conversation, and he invited me to a puff of ganja, and gave me some ganja to boot. And, as we talked he validated our lifestyle, expressing his lament that he couldn’t do it.

“Security is bullshit, and I have bills up to here (motioning over his head). You made the right choice to live free. I wish I could do it.”

And several of these people have transmuted money into LOVE, by giving without judgment, and perhaps a sparkle of envy in their eyes…

To a T

Spontaneous sweetness

Soul’s reply

It calls to me

A tear I cry

A tear of thanks

For one who dares

To break the ranks

To look, to share

A place that love and passion meet

A place where love makes fear retreat

A place so rich, yet without price

The beauty found within your eyes.

~JV 7-11-15

Why I’m Not a “Life Coach”

Someone asked me last night why I’m not a “life coach.” I’ve been asked this before, and even though I’m a maven that collects information, a connector, and a salesman, I still don’t wrap these all up in a package and sell them to others.

Why?

Well, the current system is that the more you make, the more valuable you are. I remember talking to a money making coach that immediately started scolding me before fully assessing the situation. He was geared to one thing. MAKING MORE MONEY. Hell, see for yourself at Mark Allen Grainger’s site. He told me I was “out of integrity” because I couldn’t pay him for his advice (a friend had told me to call him), and all the while, his entire life/business is structured around making more money off of people who want to make more money.

WHERE is the goddamn love? Love is without fear, hate, control, ownership, demand for a specific outcome (judgment) or harm to any party.

I want to love. And, having had everything material taken from me in 2005, I saw that, to society, money is control. We are the ONLY species that pays to live on this planet. Bankers have taken effective control of the world system by equating your power to thrive to a piece of paper

And thus, I refuse to put together a “package” of “life coaching” to sell. I would consider it a non-love venture, because love is not control.

Relationship is mutual reward. And while I could structure a relationship that has mutual reward in the way of exchange, I choose not to insert control into that scenario. What I do, is much more true to me. I share freely. I’ve always seen that it comes back around somehow.

As society is structured, I walk a poverty line. As love is structured, however, I walk in extraordinary wealth.

Our cover picture says it all. This is my turmoil. How to live in a free way without selling my soul.

11312720_1455294908103515_5190585755247252801_oIn love, JV

Irony

An intimacy coach that can’t be intimate. At least it gave me the observation that intimacy is connection past the point of vulnerability.

When someone can’t be vulnerable with you, they are most definitely not desiring relationship. Love never dies (the  desire for intimacy), but respecting boundaries is honor.

Keep walking.

The Sexiest Part Of A Woman’s Body

The sexiest part of a woman’s being is her mind, in my opinion.

But the sexiest part of her body is her tummy.

image

The tummy is the place that women are most often challenged with insecurity.

Intimacy is moving past the point of vulnerability.

When a woman allows you to observe and then worship her insecurity, her vulnerability, it becomes a power for her. The perceived perfection is connected to complete and unconditional love, and at this point the woman can relax past her fear into the parasympathetic (“no-mind” or out of her mind) pleasure.

And, having witnessed, and participated in this magic, I have to say it is an honor to share true intimacy with a partner who surrenders their most vulnerable fears for worship.

What results is the roar of a woman.

Kiss the tummy as you would the rarest treasure on earth. It is indeed such a treasure.

~JV

Love and Intimacy…

Love and intimacy

What we desire the most, we also fear the most…

Society teaches us that we grow up, meet “the one” (some call this the “twin flame”) and then we live happily ever after, or at least committed in relationship till death.

I’m calling bullshit.
What statistics show in America are this:
First Marriages:     45% to 50% marriages end in divorce
Second Marriages:    60% to 67% marriages end in divorce
Third Marriages:    70% to 73% marriages end in divorce
(Statistics credit to divorce statistics.org)
This is not happily ever after, NOR is it committed in relationship till death. Far from it. It is hell on earth in most cases.

“That asshole cheated on me” or “That bitch slept with my BEST friend!”

The turmoil that accompanies marriage is so vast, and this article is not an attempt to list the variables of this turmoil.

With that point made, however, what is the answer?
Well, an in-depth examination of love has convinced this author that what society programming presents as love is the OPPOSITE of what love really is.

Let’s examine what I believe love REALLY is:

Love is allowance, and love is the absence of judgment.
Love is the desire for increased intimacy with whatever object or being.
Love is without fear
Love is without hate.
Love is without control.
Love is without ownership.
Love is without demand for a specific outcome.
Love is without harm to any party.

In the above scenario, love is the desire for intimacy. Intimacy is the connection past the point of vulnerability. For intimacy to occur, vulnerability must be met without judgement, control, manipulation, or any other force that isn’t love.

And the irony is that we want intimacy, we indeed LOVE, many that we come in contact with throughout the day. That one at the bank that always gives that special smile and really acts interested, or the one at work that you felt this irresistible attraction to…

What happens at this point is that fear anchoring takes over most often. “But she’s married…” or “But what if my husband finds out?” These fear programmed blocks do their job most of the time, and keep us from connecting intimately with others which clearly attract us.
We want it, but we are afraid of losing something, or afraid of their reaction, or their situation, or afraid of societal judgment, jealousy… and on, and on…

What we want the most, scares us the most. This is not natural. This is PROGRAMMED fear. Love harms none. Love is addition and multiplication, never subtraction or division.

To be continued…

The Mantra of Love continues…